i don't know why all of a sudden im thinking about him all the time. he's there always at the back of my mind. time seems to encapsulate me and the days pass by without any rips and i remain cocooned in it, still thinking about him. he seems to be part and parcel of me. i don't love him. but if he comes back, i would choose to. do i tell him how i feel about him, how he rocked my world, then left me in darkness? that i'm slow and i was lying to myself the whole time we were going out. i don't really miss him all that much. but i want to be with him. does that make sense? i want to write my own history. is it too late to do something? i want to shun regret and conformity. there's always a prep talk going on in my mind but i never actually get to do anything. i'm ready. i wonder if he even thinks of me at all these days.